That’s Ireland

This is what might have been if Oasis were from Donegal (a video tribute from YouTube user Cornyack):

Here are some peculiar news items from this week, starring Pat Kenny, GV Wright, Kevin Myers and a stash of pornography (but, sadly, not all together). >>> (more…)

With Ian Paisley announcing his retirement, here are a few clips from YouTube of the Big Man in action. First, Paisley calls the Pope the Antichrist at the UN Assembly in 1988. Which is of course funny, but even funnier is the news commentary at the start, which reveals that a display of bronze nudes had been removed from the UN lobby for fear of offending the Papal entourage.

Still to come are:

• ‘Never! Never! Never!’
• Fundamentalism versus Apostasy
• Paisley making pancakes in Ballymena

And here they are: >>> (more…)

I am surprised that the media has not followed up on the report in Sunday’s Irish Mail that ‘Digout Des’ Richardson and Tim Collins had an account called the ‘D/T’ account in the same branch of the Irish Permanent as Bertie Ahern’s mysterious ‘B/T’ account. If this is true, it seems at least possible that the B/T account stands for ‘Bertie and Tim’ and not, as Ahern told the tribunal, ‘Building/Trust’.

I was at the Tribunal on the day that the Tribunal barrister, Mr O’Neill, was asking Ahern questions about the ‘B/T’ account, into which donations to Fianna Fail were lodged and from which £30,000 was withdrawn to enable Ahern’s girlfriend to buy a house. In light of the emergence of the ‘D/T’ account, Ahern’s evidence on that day makes fascinating reading. >>> (more…)

Just a link today, but this is funny as hell.

http://www.catholic.ie

On this week last year (Mar 3 to Mar 9, 2007):

• How many Irish people wanted to lose weight, and how much weight on average did they want to lose?
• How many Irish people said that watching television was their most common way of passing time outside of work?
  
• How many people were on the Irish sex offenders’ register?
• How many Irish people were being infected with the MRSA superbug every year?
• How many helicopters were registered in Ireland?

Click here for answers: >>> (more…)

Congratulations to all of the winners at the Irish Blog Awards, and thanks to Damien and all who helped to organise the event. I’ve been blogging for several months now, but it’s only since the nominations for these awards were publicised that I realised how many excellent Irish blogs there are. >>> (more…)

Following yesterday’s post about the Ireland U-18 team that conquered Europe a decade ago, On the Ditch was wondering where they are now. Well, a few broke into the senior Ireland international team, and most are still playing football for clubs ranging from the English Premiership down to non-league level, and from League of Ireland to North America. One of them nearly became Time magazine’s Person of the Century, and another has played for Harchester in Dream Team.

Here’s what they all did next: >>> (more…)

Ten years ago, in 1998, Brian Kerr led two Ireland youth teams to win the U-16 and U-18 European Championship titles, and Ireland became the first ever country to hold both titles in the same year. The above picture shows Kerr celebrating with Liam George, who scored the winning goal in the final, and assistant manager Noel O’Reilly.

In the U-18 tournament in Cyprus, we were in a group with Croatia, England and Cyprus. Going in to the last games of the group, England manager Howard Wilkinson was so confident that he complained that his players were expected to attend a three-hour reception before playing in the final.

As it happened, Ireland beat Cyprus 3-0 to top the group on goal difference, so Wilkinson’s players were spared the trouble of attending the reception. Instead it was Ireland who proceeded to the final, to face the might of Germany. Here’s a review of that final against Germany, and a look at the members of the U-18 Irish squad who conquered Europe a decade ago. >>> (more…)

So today we have news of:

• A property developer telling a court that his brother sprayed him in the face with a water hose during an argument about painting a fence, while the brother counters that he was laughing at his hose.
• A community activist telling a tribunal that a property developer kicked another property developer in the shins at a meeting, causing him to respond ‘Jesus, Owen, what are you kicking me for?’
• Our Finance Minister telling the Dail that he has confidence in our Prime Minister, who has used political donations to their political party to help buy a house for himself, as has his girlfriend.

Seriously, it’s like living inside a bad sit-com.

I’ve been away from the blog for a few days, because of unavoidable interruptions from real life, so I don’t know if anybody has been wrong on the Internet while I’ve been away (great cartoon found by Damien Mulley). However, after a few days reflection, I’m now thinking much more clearly about Bertie Ahern and the Tribunal.

At this stage, it doesn’t really matter what findings the Tribunal eventually makes about Bertie Ahern taking bribes from Owen O’Callaghan. Because, even on the basis of Ahern’s own evidence, which is the best spin that he and his supporters can put on things, Bertie Ahern is unfit for public office.

Imagine if Owen O’Callaghan never existed, and the Tribunal had never been established, and yet we somehow became aware of the following behaviour by our Prime Minister. Here’s the situation if Ahern is telling the truth:

• Our Prime Minister took money from businessmen, and put it towards buying a house for himself. He did not pay tax on at least some of this money, which he has described as ‘a political donation for personal use.’
• Our Prime Minister lodged several times his salary into various bank accounts, in his own name, his girlfriend’s name, and his friend Tim Collins name, and he has given varying and unbelievable explanations for these lodgements.
• Our Prime Minister accepted money from friends and businessmen who he appointed to state boards. He said that he appointed them not because they gave him money, but because they were his friends.
• Our Prime Minister was aware for over a decade that political party funds in his constituency had been given to his girlfriend for her to buy a house. This money was not repaid until the Tribunal found out about it.
• Our Prime Minister told our national parliament that he had consulted the tax authorities about certain personal financial transactions of his, when this was not true. He later claimed that ‘the tax authorities’ means his personal tax advisers.

I could go on, but there is more than enough there. Even if he had never met Owen O’Callaghan, Bertie Ahern is unfit for public office. And that is on the basis of Ahern’s own evidence about his personal finances. Bertie Ahern has corrupted the offices of Finance Minister and Taoiseach, and Fianna Fail, the Green Party and the PDs are corrupting Irish politics by allowing Ahern to stay in office.

On this week last year (February 25 to Mar 2, 2007):

• Why did former broadcaster Gay Byrne cause a stir when he posed for a photograph beside a TD who was launching his re-election campaign?
• Why did former rugby star Peter Clohessy apologise to English and Irish rugby fans about an incident in his bar?
• What imaginary group of people did Bertie Ahern accuse of betraying the best traditions of Irish republicanism?
• What was unusual about Junior Health Minister Tim O’Malley’s announcement that he was going to close down a mental health facility in Cork?
• Who did Bertie Ahern say would have to ‘wait his turn’ for extra staff?

Click here for answers: >>> (more…)

As Bertie Ahern prepares for his political lap of dishonour by addressing the US Houses of Congress, he is probably wondering what to include in his speech. Maybe he could discuss the similarities between Tammany Hall, which was a strong political machine dominated by Irish immigrants in New York in the 1800s, and Fianna Fail, which is a strong political machine founded by a New York immigrant in Ireland in the 1900s.

The above cartoon by Thomas Nast portrays Tammany hall as a tiger killing democracy, an icon that came to symbolise its influence. Here are six more comparisons between Tammany Hall and Fianna Fail: >>> (more…)

As a follow-up to the Legal Case of the Serpent versus God at the Garden of Eden, here is my take on another fun Biblical tale - Noah getting drunk and naked after his cruise on the magic Ark.

Noah is sitting by a table, drinking wine. His clothes are falling off him, and he is partly naked. Mrs Noah, and their sons Shem, Ham and Japeth arrive with a birthday cake.

ALL
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, dear Noah, happy birthday to you!

MRS NOAH
Congratulations, dear! Six hundred and one years old today! And we’re back on dry land.

>>> (more…)

On this week last year (February 18 to February 24, 2007):

• Why were 1,000 Gardai policing Croke Park for the singing of a song?
• What future event did Irish Psychics Live fail to predict?
• Who said in Dublin that gay culture threatened the survival of the human race?
• How did a spoof dictionary of Waterford slang cause the owner of a hotel to win €50,000 in a libel case against the Sunday World?
• What happened when the North Dakota Congress debated a motion paying tribute to U2’s Bono?

Click here for answers: >>> (more…)

Plavsa are still selling their fishy slimming pills, promoting them with a printed poster on the front door of at least one Unicare pharmacy in Dublin.

• Last year the Advertising Standards Authority banned their print ads because they failed to substantiate the claims that they made in it.
• Plavsa responded by publishing the same ad with slightly different wording, but were told that that was not acceptable either.
• Now they are using a poster that makes no claims for the product other than it is ‘the new fat fighter’, and that it is ‘new to Unicare’.
• Amazingly, despite limiting themselves to just eight words, they still manage to make two misleading claims. Plavsa is not a ‘new fat fighter’ and Unicare was selling Plavsa last year, using a poster of the now-banned advert.
  

For further details, read the following posts:

• Ad for Fishy Slimming Pills is Still Banned
• Plavsa Drops Reference to Untraceable Inventor
  
• Advert for Fishy Slimming Pills is Banned
• Fishy Claims of Slimming Pills that Soak up Fat
  

You know that the credibility of politics has taken something of a battering when a picture of a very honest former Taoiseach appears by accident in an RTE news item about his son being accused of taking a bribe.

For some years, one of my cultural and political hobby horses has been wondering how many generations it will take before the 29 counties and five cities of the Republic of Ireland become accepted as the current counties of the State.

The traditional ‘32 counties of Ireland’ were gradually imposed, over several centuries, when the island of Ireland was under English rule. At any given time, the counties represented the areas under English rule, whereas the non-county parts of the island were still under Gaelic rule.

Since the Republic of Ireland became an independent State, the elected representatives of the Irish people have changed the counties of Ireland. Today, the Republic of Ireland has 29 counties and five cities that have the same status as counties. Here is a full list of them: >>> (more…)

I respect the initiative and hard work behind the Irish Blog Awards, and I am pleased that That’s Ireland is on two shortlists. However, the judges have removed Towleroad, an international gay news blog that includes Irish-related content, from the shortlist for Best News and Current Affairs Blog, with the needlessly offensive explanation: ‘Woah nelly. Not Irish by any definition.’ >>> (more…)