That’s Ireland

The ever-comical FAI has just announced that this year’s FAI Cup Final will take place on Sunday, December 2, a week later than scheduled. That’s a full three weeks after the League of Ireland season ends, which seems unusually bizarre, even for the FAI. That is, until you realize that the original Cup Final date clashed with an FAI junket to South Africa’s ‘Surf City’ of Durban. Here’s how I suspect that the clowns in Merrion Square took this decision: >>>

INT, FAI OFFICES

THREE CLOWNS SIT AROUND A MESSY DESK

BOZO – I just got this letter from FIFA.

CHUCKLES – What’s it say?

BOZO – You tell me. You know I can’t read.

CHUCKLES – It’s about the next World Cup qualifying draw.

JUMBO – Where are we going? Somewhere warm?

CHUCKLES – Durban. Where’s that?

BOZO – It’s in India. They wear Durbans on their heads there.

CHUCKLES – Hang on, there’s a brochure with the letter.

BOZO – What’s it say?

CHUCKLES – It’s a sub-tropical beach getaway in South Africa!

JUMBO – That sounds as good as Saipan!

CHUCKLES – And it’s the most culturally diverse spot in Africa!

BOZO – Does that mean prostitutes?

JUMBO – Doesn’t it always! When are we going?

CHUCKLES – Sunday November 25! Wha-haaaaaaay!!!!

BOZO – (singing) We love you Durban, we do!

CHUCKLES – I’ll just jot that down in the old diary here…

JUMBO – (singing) We love you Durban, we DO!!

CHUCKLES – In case we forget to book our tickets…

BOZO – (singing) We love you Durban, WE DO!!

CHUCKLES – Oh shit, we’ve something else on that day.

JUMBO – (singing) OH… DURBAN WE LOVE YOU!!!

CHUCKLES – Hang on. It clashes with the Cup Final.

BOZO – That’s just the local lads, isn’t it?

CHUCKLES – Yeah, but it would look bad if we’re not there.

JUMBO – Well, we can put the Final back a week.

CHUCKLES – The players and the fans won’t like that.

BOZO – Fuck them.

JUMBO – Always worked in the past.

CHUCKLES – (singing) WE LOVE YOU DURBAN, WE DO…!!!

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