That’s Ireland

In my prank letter to Brandon Books, publishers of the poetry of Michael D Higgins, I mentioned that I had also written to Michael D, who was then a Government Minister. Here’s that letter, again from an up-and-coming poet. >>>

Letter to Michael D. Higgins

Dear Minister Higgins,

Your poetry reading on the Late Late Show inspired me to write the following two poems.

The first is an upbeat and (hopefully!) humorous celebration of the rehabilitative impact of the Labour Party on some in the pre-partnership Fianna Fail.

It is titled: SINISTER MINISTER

Sinsister Minister Slippery Snake
Sinister Minister On The Make
Sinister Minister Overfed
Here’s Labour! The Sinister Minister’s Dead!.

There is, of course, a hidden irony: ‘Sinister’ is Latin for Left!

The second poem is a contemplative reflection, Durcanesque in treatment, on the paradoxical benefits of the proposed increase in Telecom charges.

It is titled: YES THE PHONE COSTS MORE

yes the phone costs more
but only if you use it
early in the day
whereas if you choose to use it later instead
it’s cheaper
by twopence
every unit
so the longer you talk
the more you save
and so the phone costs less
instead

This is my first foray into poetry. What do you think? Are there any ‘how-to’ books or evening classes you would recommend? I believe I can also get tax-free status for being a poet - is this true? Please send me the details.

Again, congratulations on your recent promotion and your (literally!) inspirational fusion of the cultural and political spheres.

Yours sincerely,
John Mackay

Reply from Michael D Higgins

I’ll post the reply that I got on Friday.